Awkward?

Honestly didn't know what to expect at first. I didn't know if you were going or not. I guess I wanted to see you again. After so... long. I don't even remember when was the last time seeing you. Valentine's day, I guess.


"Hearts beat fast."



When I saw you. Really. I was like, nervous? Scared? Kinda happy? All I know is that I got a lil' carried away. Talking about Chow, Poh Kiat and all. Till I realized, and went to toilet to stop the carried-away-feel. I think I acted kinda normally...?


Ven Siew asked me about guys I met in club. Lol. Actually I didn't wanna tell anyone about it (except Waimun of course), but I figured why not, Ven Siew tells me about her crush too haha. She needs a girl friend! And she's really nice. I told her about that guy I met in club, the one whom I gave my email address too (wth max). I tried not to talk too loud though. Didn't want the attention. Especially not from you. I guess? I don't know. I don't feel like letting you know. But at the same time I wanna look like I'm fine and I'm moving on. Lol I'm such a complicated mindfucked bitch.


Waimun said it wasn't too awkward. I was kinda normal. Well I wish so. Most of the time you were just staring at your phone, as usual, anyway.


I'm starting to be really confused. Is this me, really getting over you, or just trying too damn hard to get over you that I brainwashed myself to believe so?