What am I, really?

Had lots of fun baking with Andy and Wai Mun. Haha! But it got me thinking.





Sitting there in the middle of the room, watching Andy colouring the fondant, doing the Stitch's face; while Waimun busy sifting the icing sugar, making the frosting of the cake. And guess what was I doing?

















... Eating icing sugar, trying to make a heart out of the fondant (but failed miserably), eating crumps of the cake... Mostly just eating and making a lot of noise.





And I feel...... Useless? Pointless? I dont know honestly. Haha.






I think this has been quite an issue to me lately. Been struggling on this matter a lot. What am I really good at..? Andy, the artistic-creative one is going for interior designer. Waimun, the one super passionate for food, going for culinary arts (oh and nobody knows how much dilemma she was in and how annoying she was -.- -.- -.-) Everyone else is pretty much doing what they're good at, or at least interested in.

As for myself? Lol. Taking a gap year, working as some 'accounts assistant' in some company (when I really feel like just some da zap girl), still unsure of what I want.


I suck at arts. SUPERULTRAMEGAFREAKING suck. So yeah all the artsy-creative thingy, I super cmi.


I like biology. But I can't handle blood. And animal testing. And bio-related studies are just too tough. Or long.


I like psychology too. It's interesting. And I've been scoring well in Psycho paper in SAM heh. But yeah, no future in Malaysia. Sad stuff.


I love performing. Yeah I kinda like the attention. Being on stage, all eyes on me, all I see is spotlights shining on me. Yeah I love that feeling. I love singing. But wtf lol. I gave up on piano after passing Grade 6 ABRSM exam. And zomg I suck at playing piano la -.- Guitar? Lol I dont even know how -___- And it's not like I'm really good at singing and dancing.


And finally, business. Yeah everyone's been saying business is my field, yadda yadda. But deep down, my ego keeps telling me, I could do better than business field. Like really? Business field, anyone could manage that. It feels like I'm lowering my standard for it. Yeah I know I'm a bitch, look down and all. Business field is good blablabla whatever people in the field like to say. But that's just what I think and how I feel about this field.


Marketing - Most of the people I know told me I should do marketing. Cos of my outgoing-personality I guess. But daddy and Uncle Jordan once told me, you don't need a cert for marketing. Anyone could manage that. Why waste 3 years for this?

Econs - People say it's interesting. But it's kinda like. Ermmm, whuuut? I have like, zero knowledge about econs. Not just academically. In real life too. Stocks? Market? House prices? Currency? Blablabla. Whattheheck? Not even a tad bit interesting to me.

Admin/Management - Yeah okay very mafan and... I dont know seems stupid to me.

International Business - Int.. WHAT? There's such thing....?!???? -_____-

Accounting/Finance - I took accounts in SPM. I guess it's okay. I remember one of the Australia Uni's rep told me this, "All the CEOs and CFOs and GMs are usually accounting/finance background". So yeah, that's my goal. I wanna be a successful woman with high-flying career. But it seems like there are too many people in this field. I'll end up being just a mediocre worker in this field. And I don't wanna be just a mediocre. I'm better than that..?




All these things just suck la. I feel like, I'm half good-half bad at everything. There's nothing that I'm really really good at.








Ah. Fml. Lol. Reached Patio dydy. Time for Vensiew's birthday celebration! :)